Most people have heard this saying before; at least, I know I have…a multitude of times. Yet somehow, I can’t turn off my brain and simply stop worrying. It doesn’t work that way. So instead of stressing even more about why I can’t be “normal” and just get over my anxiety like some people, I will instead focus on being thankful for all of the awful scenarios in my head that didn’t happen. No use worrying about things I can’t change, right?
For instance, in my previous post I talked about my social worries regarding J’s family and unfamiliar situations. Weeelll…Thanksgiving #2 with his side was absolutely wonderful. I met a sweet aunt and a silent, but kind uncle and their two amazing kiddos; I ate the most delicious, American cultured meal that was extremely different from Thanksgiving #1 with my Filipino family; and I bonded with his sister (who J loves dearly). There were no moments of awkward silences or uncomfortable interactions. It was truly like a big feast with my own kin, and I am so incredibly grateful.
Thanksgiving #1 was also fantastic. My grandmother and I spent the day together cooking, which she hasn’t done in a very long time. Her sharp mind recalled all of her tips and tricks as she passed her knowledge on to me, patiently teaching me her magical ways. Her weathered fingers fumbled, but that’s what I was there for…to open cans, stir pots, and lift the heavy bag of white rice. She was the brain and I was the brawn. Gosh, I never thought I’d say that! My family gathered in her tiny apartment and J had the opportunity to try a traditional Filipino Thanksgiving meal the way I remember it growing up. The whole experience meant a lot to me.
I love Thanksgiving. It really is my favorite holiday. And while some Negative Nancy may look upon the festivities and criticize how Americans need one day to set aside and be grateful, I scoff at her (or him). See, the reality of life is that it is so easy to get blindsided by routine, swept up by business, and turned upside down by every day thoughts and activities. There is no need to deny this fact. Thus, I am so extremely thankful for Thanksgiving because Heaven knows I need the reminder. I need the established holiday that forces me to pause, turn my eyes inward and reflect on all the good things I’ve got goin’ on. Yes, the goal is to make this a part of each day, to be grateful every morning and every evening, but I’m not there yet. I am still roller coasting through life imperfectly. Thus, I am thankful today. I am thankful for Thanksgiving. And I’m not going to stress beyond that.
Now excuse me while I tend to my food baby.