Pretty sure my Higher Power meant for me to stumble across this quote today. Upon rereading my most recent post regarding J and our difficult situation, I really feel as though in the midst of emotion, I was focussed on the negative aspects of my relationship. I do recognize that this is human emotion – the tendency to miss the bigger picture at first and concentrate on the minute situation before us. However, if I have learned anything, it is that saying something is acceptable simply because it is habit or tendency (whether biological or not) is a straight cop out.
J and I had our talk, and communication really did fill in gaps that could have ultimately led to insecurity and more anxiety. He was extremely reassuring, albeit a little frustrated at my lack of trust (understandably), and we were able to settle back into a place of harmony. I felt like all was well again.
Then, however, as I was surfing the web today, I stumbled across the quote above, and I was floored. I need to do a better job in remembering the silver linings in the midst of a storm. Translated – I need to celebrate the good parts of my relationship even in the midst of a fight. I know that is way easier said than done, trust me; I am the QUEEN of letting my heart rule my head in passionate moments, as evidence by my previous entry. But I cannot let that be my excuse. Just because it’s difficult to do, doesn’t mean it isn’t worth doing. Now, this isn’t to say that the discussion isn’t still necessary, but it allows for a mature exchange to occur rather than an argument to escalate.
So I’m going to commit to trying. It helps to have a quote that I can bring to the forefront of my mind when all I want to do is complain and whine. I can repeat it like a calming mediation in my head. The next time J and I have a row -or really anytime I have an emotionally charged situation that my cloud my thinking- I will attempt to sheer my thorns and celebrate the beauty of the roses instead.
An Enlightened Freedom